Well, this week was a little more moderate as far as the Stud Calculator goes, with the top Studs registering in the 15s rather than the 20s. Of course, top Stud Kevin Love could possibly be mine if I hadn’t told a waffling Poopmakers he’d be a fool to part with him in the keeper phase after his rookie year. Stupid honesty. Well, in the game capsules I’ll play at more honesty, this time pointing out my opinion of the worst draft decision made by each team based on the early returns. On your way scrolling down to that, go ahead and digest the VRR, Studs, and Turds…
The Slamson Memorial Virtual Round Robin
| Team | VRR Record | VRR % | Actual Record | Actual % | Difference |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dry Heat | 108-32-3 | 76.6 % | 10-3-0 | 76.9 % | 0.3 % |
| Rhymenoceros | 96-46-1 | 67.5 % | 13-0-0 | 100.0 % | 32.5 % |
| Hoops! I didit again | 86-55-2 | 60.8 % | 9-4-0 | 69.2 % | 8.4 % |
| The Very Bad Team | 86-55-2 | 60.8 % | 7-6-0 | 53.8 % | -7.0 % |
| Ball Shaggers | 79-62-2 | 55.9 % | 8-4-1 | 65.4 % | 9.5 % |
| Sweet Sassy Molassy | 75-68-0 | 52.4 % | 6-7-0 | 46.2 % | -6.2 % |
| Bodacious D | 70-73-0 | 49.0 % | 3-10-0 | 23.1 % | -25.9 % |
| Baker’s Poop Makers | 66-75-2 | 46.9 % | 4-8-1 | 34.6 % | -12.3 % |
| Lipsticked Pigs | 62-80-1 | 43.7 % | 4-9-0 | 30.8 % | -12.9 % |
| Slamson | 47-95-1 | 33.2 % | 7-6-0 | 53.8 % | 20.6 % |
| The Bombay Runners | 43-99-1 | 30.4 % | 6-7-0 | 46.2 % | 15.8 % |
| nutria on viagra | 32-110-1 | 22.7 % | 0-13-0 | 0.0 % | -22.7 % |
The Objective Stud
| Stud | SDAAs | Min | FGM | FG% | FTM | FT% | 3PTM | 3PT% | OReb | DReb | Ast | St | Bl | A/T |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Kevin Love | 15.72 | 164 | 34 | 47.9 | 22 | 78.6 | 10 | 38.5 | 17 | 42 | 4 | 6 | 4 | 0.29 |
| Josh Smith | 15.54 | 179 | 38 | 49.4 | 12 | 54.5 | 1 | 33.3 | 14 | 37 | 15 | 10 | 13 | 1.50 |
| D.J. Augustin | 15.47 | 151 | 29 | 43.3 | 13 | 81.2 | 10 | 52.6 | 5 | 14 | 35 | 3 | 1 | 5.00 |
| James Harden | 15.12 | 150 | 30 | 51.7 | 27 | 90.0 | 11 | 42.3 | 2 | 15 | 17 | 6 | 0 | 1.70 |
| Carmelo Anthony | 13.47 | 143 | 46 | 45.1 | 16 | 76.2 | 9 | 39.1 | 7 | 21 | 20 | 6 | 3 | 1.67 |
| Monta Ellis | 13.11 | 161 | 37 | 42.0 | 27 | 87.1 | 5 | 26.3 | 3 | 10 | 34 | 8 | 1 | 2.43 |
| Al Horford | 12.02 | 186 | 30 | 60.0 | 11 | 84.6 | 0 | 0.0 | 13 | 28 | 12 | 5 | 6 | 1.20 |
| Danilo Gallinari | 11.61 | 140 | 28 | 54.9 | 20 | 83.3 | 7 | 38.9 | 4 | 19 | 13 | 5 | 3 | 1.62 |
| Jarrett Jack | 11.29 | 156 | 28 | 47.5 | 15 | 93.8 | 3 | 33.3 | 6 | 14 | 33 | 2 | 2 | 3.00 |
| LeBron James | 10.39 | 114 | 34 | 60.7 | 25 | 78.1 | 0 | 0.0 | 4 | 18 | 28 | 4 | 1 | 2.00 |
The Objective Turd
| Turd | SDAAs | Min | FGM | FG% | FTM | FT% | 3PTM | 3PT% | OReb | DReb | Ast | St | Bl | A/T |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Michael Beasley | -2.65 | 107 | 17 | 39.5 | 2 | 40.0 | 3 | 60.0 | 6 | 21 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 0.36 |
| Raymond Felton | -2.08 | 135 | 11 | 26.8 | 8 | 80.0 | 1 | 8.3 | 3 | 10 | 26 | 2 | 0 | 3.25 |
| Jonas Jerebko | -1.83 | 117 | 13 | 38.2 | 4 | 50.0 | 2 | 25.0 | 12 | 17 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1.33 |
| Joakim Noah | -1.60 | 101 | 7 | 26.9 | 6 | 75.0 | 0 | NaN | 8 | 21 | 8 | 3 | 3 | 0.89 |
| Glen Davis | -1.35 | 106 | 15 | 39.5 | 8 | 72.7 | 0 | NaN | 10 | 17 | 4 | 3 | 0 | 0.67 |
| David Lee | -1.05 | 117 | 17 | 47.2 | 7 | 77.8 | 0 | NaN | 6 | 30 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 0.09 |
| Chris Kaman | -0.14 | 106 | 18 | 58.1 | 4 | 100.0 | 0 | NaN | 4 | 28 | 7 | 0 | 1 | 0.64 |
| Shawn Marion | -0.12 | 106 | 16 | 36.4 | 5 | 83.3 | 1 | 33.3 | 8 | 14 | 6 | 2 | 3 | 2.00 |
| Jared Dudley | 0.24 | 132 | 22 | 45.8 | 6 | 60.0 | 4 | 25.0 | 5 | 11 | 8 | 5 | 1 | 1.33 |
| Luis Scola | 0.35 | 126 | 33 | 45.8 | 4 | 80.0 | 0 | NaN | 6 | 11 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 1.00 |
Game Capsules
Rhymenoceros def. nutria on viagra, 13-0-0 – Rhyme Time clobbered the injured ABRs with really only one category (steals) being contested at the end. Carmelo Anthony managed a Triple-20 with 46 FGM, 21 DRebs, and 20 assists, btut I really loved #2 Stud Josh Smith’s line (7 categories in double digits, missing only 3PTM). As far as draft mistakes go, the autodrafter gave Rhymenoceros a couple of turkeys in Shane Battier and C.J. Miles. I’d have a hard time deciding between the two, but with Miles taken significantly higher (72 keeper points vs. Battier’s 34 KP) C.J. and his .305 shooting and .625 A/T take the cake for now. Coulda had Rubio. The ABRs probably got their best week out of Al Jefferson (36 FGM, 33 rebounds), but there wasn’t much to be happy about this week. Notably, the ABRs had zero players in double-digit assists and got more than doubled up in both assists and A/T. I don’t want to knock Nutria’s autodrafter for selecting injured players like Ginobili (though the Chuck Hayes selection may have been questionable as I believe he was medically disqualified and unsigned at the time of the draft), so I’m going to say that Jodie Meeks (.353 FG%, .286 3PT%) at 33 KP was probably the worst selection. Gerald Henderson, who came off the board 8 slots later, would have been a much nicer SG.
Dry Heat def. Bodacious D, 10-3-0 – The bossman took out Bo D in an all-out whooping as Bo D struggles to find players who can actually play minutes. LaMarcus Aldridge (37 FGM, 26 FTM, 23 DRebs) and Russell Westbrook (37 FGM, 21 DRebs, 27 assists) both racked up Triple-20s for Dry Heat. And while I know it was a calculated decision, I’m going to persist in my opinion that Dry Heat’s worst draft selection was spending 21 KPs on Wilson Chandler, who is stuck in China until presumably late March. Though I guess that dead roster spot didn’t stop him from getting 1768 minutes this week. Tyreke Evans squeaked in a Triple-20 for Bo D with 25 FGM, 20 FTM and 20 assists, but outside of that and Dwight Howard’s 31 FGM, 46 rebound week, there wasn’t much to cheer. As far as the worst draft decision goes, it seems like there are so many…but Wes Johnson has done just about nothing at all for his 82 keeper points – Ryan Anderson would have been a far better selection.
Hoops! I didit again def. Lipsticked Pigs, 9-4-0 – Britney’s Boo-boos came out on top for the first time in his fantasy career at the expense of the “rebuilding” Pigs. Britney’s Triple-20 machine LeBron James registered the standard 34 FGM, 25 FTM, and 28 assists and snuck onto the top-ten Studs even in a not-so-hot week. I don’t see any terrible decisions in the draft here, but taking the injured Baron Davis (yet to play this year) at a whole 20 KP might have been the worst. I don’t expect much out of Baron except a rash of injuries, so pretty much any warm body probably would have been better. The Pigs put up a fight behind Andrew Bynum’s 25 FGM and 65 rebounds but in the end probably could only have made inroads on one other category – 3PTM. The Pigs’ worst selection (as opposed to their worst player) has to be Arron Afflalo, who ate up 138 KP and really doesn’t bring much to the table fantasy-wise: .240 3PT%, 1.7 assists, 2.5 rebounds, and only 4.2 FGM to go with it. Jarrett Jack would have made a big difference here.
Ball Shaggers def. Baker’s Poop Makers, 8-4-1 – Make Love, Not Poop! The Shaggers wiped out the Poopmakers this week on the strength of Monta Ellis and his Textriple-20 (37 FGM, 27 FTM, 34 assists, 0 pictures of his Anthony Weiner) and certainly benefitted from Tony Parker’s 38 assists. Did he make a mistake in the draft? Sure, we all do! We’ll ignore passing on Ryan Anderson (everybody but Slamson did that) and instead focus on the already-dropped Rashard Lewis, who seems to just be playing out his contract at this point. Only 31 KPs but J.J. Redick would have looked a lot better. The losing Poopmakers had some great performances, nabbing Triple-20s from #1 Stud Kevin Love (34 FGM, 22 FTM, 42 DRebs), the wreck of the Andrea Bargnani (32 FGM, 21 FTM, 23 DRebs) and wounded soldier Kobe Bryant (51 FGM, 26 FTM, 25 assists). They just didn’t get a whole lot out of everybody else. The bottom of the draft in general was simply not kind to Baker, with Grant Hill so far the only acceptable pick out of his last six. But as little as Jimmer Fredette and Brandon Knight have contributed, at least they ought to get better with time. Timofey Mozgov, Austin Daye, and Shawne Williams are looking like complete busts at this point. I’ll label Mozgov the worst, not for production but for the simple fact that smart money on Mozgov was that we would actually be called on to contribute this year. You know, the piece that made the Carmelo trade happen? Apparently, not so much.
The Very Bad Team def. Sweet Sassy Molassy, 7-6-0 – The VBT had a good VRR and a very nice battle with SSM this week. Derrick Rose naturally led the way with a Triple-20 of 25 FGM, 22 FTM, and 33 assists, though surprise #3 Stud D.J. Augustin surpassed him with 35 assists (and 10/19 shooting from three). Like seemingly every other team, the bottom of the draft wasn’t very kind to the VBT, but in the end Omri Casspi was probably the worst pick. The VBT was really looking at Omri to be his #2 SF at 46 KP (Joe Johnson eligible, but probably assigned to the SG) and it seemed a great pick as he was basically being handed the starting slot on a Cavs team with little behind him. It’s worked out so well, he’s already been dropped. Maybe the Playa From Judea will turn things around and make this look like a bad call, for now, it’s the call. SSM has a lot of young talent this year, and it was Coachbane DeMarcus Cousins who probably put in the best week 24 FGM, 36 rebounds and 8 blocks. Surprisingly, Lob City’s DeAndre Jordan at 151 KPs might have been the worst pickup for SSM in the draft. Obviously he’s fantastic in blocked shots, but his 7 rebounds per game puts him only fifth on the team, his free throw shooting is atrocious at .472, and although he hits 64% of his FGs, that’s 2.3 per game (basically 2 dunks and then a .250 shooting percentage on 1.5 other shots). Andrew Bynum at 148 is looking a lot more solid (if more injury-prone) right now.
Slamson def. The Bombay Runners, 7-6-0 – Our final matchup came from near the bottom of the VRR, wherein Slamson got the moral victory over the Runners. Slamson netted 33 FGm from Scola and 35 total rebounds from Ryan Anderson, but injuries to Wade and Kidd stalled him out this week. The big mistake here was clearly Lamar Odom – 143 KPs for 21 FGM on .292 shooting and a disgusting .172 from three so far. Shoot, you might as well have drafted Khloe, though Wesley Matthews was available and probably would have been a bit better than a Kardashian. The Roaches leaned on Kevin Durant’s Triple-20 this week (43 FGM, 27 FTM, 29 DRebs) given that Chris Paul brought practically nothing. (Can somebody please explain to me how a team can have only two games in one week in a “compressed” schedule? So the Clippers are going to play 5 games a week for the rest of the year?) And as much as I’d like to hate on the Kirilenko pick in the Roaches’ draft, there was at least a chance that he was going to sign with an NBA team. On the other hand, Charlie Frankennueva was a known commodity – known to be awful. How you can spend 38 KPs on a player who has six more minutes on the season than he has hairs on his entire body is beyond me. (OK, normally that would be great, but not when you’re talking about Mr. Could-My-Missing-Eyebrows-Be-Alopecia?) Fine, I’m sure he’s a nice guy, rescues drowning puppies and all that, so I shouldn’t make fun of something out of his control, but really, outside of his medical condition what has he got for me to talk about? (Answer: no FGs this season.)
